You'll Never Know
by JacktheSinister JaketheJust
Summary: It's been one year since the implosion of the Shield. One year since Seth turned his back on his brothers. Tonight he's alone, letting his mind wonder over everything that's happened and the reasons behind it. Complete!


**Disclaimer: I do not own anything. **This is a work of complete fiction.** As for the characters mentioned, this story does not depict their own personal feelings, thoughts, or ideas. Each character belongs to their rightful owners; themselves and the WWE.**

 **Note: This is what lack of sleep, too much caffeine, and the depression of making it to 1 year without the Shield does to me. Hope you like it. -JJ**

* * *

 ** _You'll Never Know_**

Seth sat in the large bay window seat, looking out onto the beautiful city of Houston. His chocolate eyes were focused on the bright headlights of the cars below as they passed by. He leaned back on the cushions, relaxing into them, his feet stretched out on the long comfortable seat. He let out a slow, tired breath He was exhausted, both mentally and physically.

He'd feuded with Dean and Roman once again tonight, fighting for his "prized" title. At that thought he felt a bitter smirk touch his lips. The truth was, he didn't care much about that belt. Dean could have it. He'd happily give it to him. He wanted Dean to have it. He was just acting like he was so furious and frustrated for show.

He felt a cheerless chuckle start in his throat. He was good at that; doing things for show.

A bitter smile touched his lips, his eyes closing as he thought about what day it was.

June 2nd.

It had been a year since that day. A year since he'd turned his back on the two men he'd called his brothers and ripped everything they'd built up together, to shreds.

Yet another bitter chuckle escaped his lips, this one accompanied with a burning sensation behind his eyelids. He let out a shaky breath. It had been a year since he'd actually spoken to them. A year since he'd felt their touch on his skin, tasted their lips one his. He shook his head, trying to push those thoughts away. He was already tortured by those thoughts. His eyes slowly opened, the lights from the outside blurred, beautiful circles of light.

He'd never be able forget how he'd started down this road, a road he'd never thought he'd ever be walking alone. A road he'd never wanted to walk this way.

It all started the day of Payback the year before. He'd been caught on his own by Hunter, the bulkier man trapping him in one of the bathrooms in the arena. To this day, that conversation played in his head. He'd never be able to forget it.

" _Look at what I found out all on his own," Hunter taunted, leaning back against the door, blocking the only exit out of the room. "Where are your boys?"_

" _What do you want Hunter?" Seth asked, turning from the sink where he'd been washing his hands. He turned the water off, walking over to Hunter, grabbing a few disposable hand towels and drying his hands before he tossed them in the trashcan. "I do have places to be, or are you trying to intimidate me before our match tonight?"_

 _Hunter smirked. "You have such a smart mouth Seth," he purred, pushing off the door, and walking over to Seth so that they were almost chest to chest. "Something that loose must be great at other things." His hand rose, grasping Seth's chin. "Is it?"_

 _Seth jerked from Hunter's grasp, taking a step back, hating how he was suddenly against a wall. He stood tall. No way was he going to let Hunter intimidate him. "What do you want?"_

" _Straight to the point. I like that," Hunter went on, chuckling. "Ya see, I wanted to offer you something. Something big."_

 _Seth's brow rose in disinterest. "I don't want anything you have to offer."_

" _How do you know if you don't listen to me?" Hinter asked, his voice dropping into a seductive murmur. "You know, you're a good lookin' guy Seth. Pretty almost." He took a step closer, looking Seth up and down. "I know your boys have to enjoy that body of yours."_

 _Seth's eyes narrowed, his cheeks flushing. "What we do in our spare time is none of your business," he snapped, standing his ground. "I'm not into being flattered."_

" _Oh? Well then, let me get to the point. Come be by my side," Hunter started, his hand cupping the side of Seth's face, his thumb lightly tracing the bearded jaw. "I could give you anything you want Seth. You want money, I can make sure you get it. You want girls, guys, I'll get them for you." He took a step closer, his and Seth's chests bumping together as he leaned in, his lips suddenly against Seth's ear. "You want gold? I'll make sure you have it around your waist." His other hand moved, sliding up to rest on a narrow hip. "Be mine and I'll make you the face of this company, bigger than Randy, bigger than Cena."_

 _Seth could feel his heart starting to race. It wasn't because of Hunter's words, he knew they were nothing but empty promises. He knew it was just a bunch of sweet lies to get him to walk away from the two men he cared about for Hunter's own gain. He could feel Hunter's heat, his breath on his neck. "No!" he hissed, pushing Hunter back away from him. "Fuck you and your offer. I don't want any part of it. I'll make sure that belt's mine on my own." He let out a low growl, turning and heading for the door. Before he could get it open, Hunter's hand was suddenly on it, holding it closed._

" _Think about it Seth. I'm not an unreasonable man. I'll give you what you want, just think about it and give me an answer before the show tomorrow," Hunter said, smiling before he pulled his hand back and let Seth leave the bathroom._

 _Seth darted out, his heart raging in his chest as he tried to catch his breath. He looked over his shoulder, something inside him feeling off. He tried to shake it off, get the words out of his head. He'd been so distracted with trying to erase what had happened, that he'd run right into the back of Roman. When the Samoan had turned to him, Hunter was suddenly the last thing on his mind. All it took was to see that handsome face of one of his lovers, feel the love in those eyes and all over it, all of Hunter's empty words, were forgotten and once again he was focused on preparing for their match that night.._

He could still hear Roman's cries of pain, the sound of kendo sticks snapping against his caramel skin. Seth felt a stab to his heart, the clang of steel chairs ringing in his ears. Dean's grunts of pain, his cries of war, all of it twisted in his mind in a painful set of memories that he could never once forget. The same cries that haunted too many of his nightmares.

The night itself, despite the pain, despite the punishment they'd taken, had gone exactly like they'd said. Him and Roman and Dean had put up the fight of their lives that night in Rosemont. They'd defeated Evolution in a clean sweep, putting everything on the line. They'd done what they'd said they would. They defeated them without a single casualty.

Seth could feel a sad smile touch his lips, his heart slowly starting to pound. He'd never forget the way they'd celebrated that night once they'd gotten back to the hotel room. He'd barely gotten into the room before he was all over Dean, Roman behind him, yanking at his jeans. They were tired and sore, but it was all forgotten. They were all three suddenly completely charged, full of nothing but sexual energy. Their bodies had still been covered in sweat from their match, but he hadn't cared. He'd only cared about being with Roman and Dean, enjoying their heat, their bodies, their mind numbing kisses.

He could barely see past the hazy lust, almost unsure of whose stubble was scratching against his neck, whose hand was on his cock, who was inside him. He'd known Dean and Roman were in the same state of mind, all of them too wound up to focus on what exactly was going on.

And it went on until they'd finally fallen victim to complete exhaustion. Even at the end, they were tangled up in each other's limbs, refusing to move to clean up or even settle into bed properly.

Seth's jaw tightened, his eyes closing again. That night bad been nothing short of amazing, and it was all he had left to cherish. It was the last time he'd been held so tightly, loved so deeply. It was the last time he'd ever see smiles on those lips that were aimed at him.

He'd been the one to wake at the early morning hours, his throat begging for something to drink. He'd untangled himself from Roman and Dean, cleaning himself before pulling on a pair of shorts and making his way to the closest vending machine for something other than water.

He'd never expected to meet someone there. He'd never thought he'd run into Randy Orton of all people, the other man turning to him and giving him a venomous smirk. The same smirk that had lured him in, turned him away from his brothers.

" _You really think you're going to be able to keep this little band of Brotherhood together?" Randy asked, smirking as he leaned against the Coke vending machine, looking Seth up and down, one brow raised. "Don't you wanna see what it's like at the top? Feel that belt around your waist? How're you gonna do that with those two holding you down?"_

 _Seth stood there, his arms crossed over his chest, giving Randy a less than enthused look. "I'm not going to fall for your tricks Randy, so get out of the way so I can get something to drink and get back," he hissed, moving to walk past Randy. He'd heard Hunter's speech, he wasn't going to give Randy the time of day to try and convince him._

" _If you don't want to do it for yourself, don't you think it's selfish to keep them from moving up the ladder?" Randy asked, just as Seth passed him. "You think holding the US title is much of anything? I doubt it for Dean. He was big name in the Indies wasn't he? Held a lot of titles. But it might be enough, but what about Roman? You think he's happy with just holding that tag team belt once? He's Samoan royalty. He'd destined to the top. Both of them are champion material. All three of you banding together like this, just holds you down. They'll never make it holding onto this little group you've built. You don't want to end up resenting each other, do you?" He snuck a quick look behind him. Seth's back was to him but he could see the tension he held in his shoulders._

" _It'd be a pity to see all their hard work go to waste being stuck in the midcard range. None of you will ever make it to the top holding onto this. You already know it. Beating us, beating Evolution, that's the highest you can go as a three man team Seth. You know it and I know it. You worked your ass off to be here. Hunter can push you up to the top, make you a star." He eased up behind Seth, keeping just enough space between their bodies that they didn't touch, but close enough they could feel each other's body heat. His lips were next to Seth's ear, his voice dropping to a whisper. "Hunter could give you anything you want on a silver platter, you just have to drop those two."_

 _Seth felt Randy's body pull away, a rush of cool air cutting through him. He swallowed hard, his heart racing. He turned, finding that he was suddenly alone in the vending area. He stood there, thinking about what Randy had said. Would being together hold them down? Would it keep Dean and Roman from reaching the top? No, it couldn't stop them. They were together in this. They were brothers. Somehow they would be able to support each other, through everything, they could do it._

He'd gone back to the hotel room, his heart uneasy when he saw the two still curled around each other in the bed they all shared. He'd taken the chair at the small desk, leaning back and thinking hard.

He knew WWE was a competitive company. One man made it to the top to reign supreme. He was the one that ruled the division. Could he sit behind Roman or Dean and watch them? Could they stand behind him? Would they grow to resent each other? He hated how turbulent his heart felt. He didn't want to destroy their team, their brotherhood. He wanted to protect Roman and Dean as much as he could, ensure their futures as independent wrestlers. He knew they would make it; he had no doubt in his mind. They would all make it to the top. He'd make sure of it.

He stood from the chair, sliding back into the bed with his two lovers, his eyes already drooping. This was the last night he'd feel their warmth, the last time he'd hear their soft, steady breathing. It was the first and last time he'd ever whisper, "I love you."

Seth's heart ached in his chest as he adjusted himself on the bench seat, his back growing stiff from sitting in the same position for so long. He sighed, letting his head fall back against the wall, his eyes still focused on the outside.

He'd made his move the next day, just after they'd made it to the arena. He'd snuck off from the two, his heart already racing in his chest in search of Hunter.

 _Seth let his knuckles rap three times on the door before he walked in, finding Hunter sitting there alone on his sofa. "I want to talk to you," he gasped out, unsure of how he could speak with the way his heart was pounding. He couldn't hear much over the sound of blood rushing in his ears. His eyes flickered over Hunter's black eye, a contemplative smirk on his lips._

" _Oh?" Hunter asked, leaning back, getting comfortable. "You finally think about my offer?" His brown eyes roamed over Seth's body, his shirt tight across his chest, showing just how defined his torso was, his skinny jeans hugging every curve of his legs and ass. Needless to say, Seth look amazing standing there in front of him._

" _If I do this, we do it on my terms," Seth hissed between clenched teeth. "You understand?"_

 _Hunter gave a look of surprised interest, cocking his head to the side. His smirk grew, leaning back a little more, growing comfortable on the sofa. "Are you willing to exchange your terms for mine?"_

 _Seth couldn't speak, his jaw tightening, his teeth starting to throb. This was for Roman and Dean. This was for them, for all their futures, their careers. He closed his eyes, taking a breath and letting it out. "If you give me everything I want, I'll give you what you want," he whispered, sealing his fate. This was it; there was no turning back_

Seth bit his lower lip, knowing there'd be no going back. And there hadn't. He'd made it look like he was the one to turn, he was the one to grow tired of Roman and Dean. He'd made sure that everything fell on him, all their hate, all the blame. He'd taken it as his punishment.

He could still feel the cold steel of the chair legs in his hands He could still hear the dull clang and Roman's grunt on impact. He could still _see_ the betrayal in Dean's eyes, the questioning look of horror before he turned and did the same to him. He felt that pain all over again, the same heartbreaking, ache in his heart that he'd felt once he'd made it through the curtain to the back. He could taste those tears once again, mixed with the taste of Hunter's mouth as his was devoured. He could still feel the cold painted brick behind him.

He'd watched as Dean and Roman helped each other to the back, refusing any and all help from anyone that had offered to help. He was tucked away, so he couldn't be seen, but he wanted to make sure they made it backstage after Randy's beating. Still, a year later, he could feel the immense regret of ever agreeing to what he'd done and how it had yet to settle.

Looking away from the night life of the city, Seth closed his eyes, thinking over the last year. He'd seen both Roman and Dean several times. At first it was painful to hear them scream at him, asking him why he'd done what he'd done, why he'd leave them to join Hunter.

It had only taken once for Hunter to come up to him, and wrap his arm around his waist, and pull him in. That look of betrayal was worse than the one in the ring. It was burned into his memory, both of them furious as they realized what he was doing. He heard Dean's words echo in his mind, _"He left us to be Hunter's whore."_

That night, he'd heard it from Dolph. He was told he was worse than the worst. He didn't expect any sympathy from any of them, and he didn't expect them to understand. He'd done what he'd done for his own reasons. He'd done it for Dean and Roman. No one else had to know but him.

Seth blew out a sigh, smiling softly. As painful as it was to be away from Roman and Dean, he'd gotten what he'd wanted. Hunter delivered on his promise. Both of them exploded after the implosion. Roman had grown into himself as a singles competitor and Dean, he'd made himself one of the most favorite superstars on the roster. Seth had accomplished exactly what he'd wanted. Both of his boys were two of the top competitors for the title, without animosity, without fighting.

And he'd kept his act up. He allowed Hunter to make him champion, to fill that role of a spoiled child. He'd become Hunter's pretty plaything, his toy to use and show off.

He let his mind wonder to Dean and Roman, thinking that they'd grown close in the last year. He'd been lucky enough to watch it happen, even when he wanted to run to one of them and beg for forgiveness. He knew they were still lovers, although he could sense a difference now. It wasn't the same kind of love the three of them had shared. This love they held was deeper, stronger, more pure. He could see it all in Dean's eyes when he looked at Roman. He could hear it in the way Roman talked about Dean. He'd stepped out of the Shield, and they'd mended the hole. He knew they would.

He'd hated that Dean was the one that had chased after him, demanding answers, to understand what had happened to them. Dean had been the one to call him names. Dean was the one to always apologize for hitting him, even after all the terrible things he'd said. Dean had been the one to kiss him during several of their matches, yelled that he loved him. He'd ripped Dean apart by leaving, but still he chased him.

And Roman.

Roman had just let him go, given him the space he'd demanded without ever reaching out to grab him back. He'd been the one to say that Seth was always going to be his little brother, that he was always going to be apart of them. He was the one that stood there, ready and waiting for Seth to return. Even now, even after all the pain he'd caused, Roman stood there.

He'd wanted nothing more that fall into their arms and once again feel their love. Several times he'd almost done just that. When Dean had hurt his shoulder during their Money In The Bank match, he'd wanted to check on him. He'd tried to hurry the match up by winning. When Roman had gone in for emergency surgery, he'd want to fly down to see him. He'd resulted in sending flowers and a card wishing him better, bit leaving it blank on whom had sent them. And when they'd triple power bombed Randy through the announce table, it had felt just like old times. He'd thrust his fist out, forgetting just where he was, who he'd become. He'd never admit out loud how those looks had hurt him.

He felt tears flood his eyes, a single one starting down his cheek. He let out a hateful growl, wiping it away quickly. He didn't want to cry. He didn't want to show that kind of weakness a year later. It was over, they'd moved on, and he had a role to play.

"You look troubled Seth."

Seth's eyes closed, his jaw tightening. He still lived in this personal hell. He felt a hand cup his cheek, a soft pair of lips pressing a kiss to the corner of his eye. "I'm fine," he muttered, pulling from Hunter's gentle touch.

"It's been a year already Seth, do you always have to act so cold towards me?" Hunter asked, loosening his tie and tossing it towards the armchair close by them. He sighed, unbuttoning the top button of his white shirt, moving to sit at Seth's feet. "I've given you everything you've asked for. I gave Roman a huge push in the company. You've have more feuds with Ambrose than most people can count. What else do you want Seth? What can I do to make you happy?"

Seth couldn't meet his gaze. He couldn't answer that question, because Hunter could never make him happy. "I'm going to get something to drink," he said, swinging his legs off the bench and stood. "I'll be back later." It was monotone, stoic.

He walked towards the door, unable to miss the heated growl in Hunter's throat. He knew he'd end up giving in once he came back, but for a short while, he didn't want to remember he belonged to the other man, that he'd traded himself to make sure Dean and Roman had the best future in the company.

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(A/N): I have no clue what this is. I just wanted to do something for the one year anniversary of the Shield Implosion. Most of the fics I've read about the break up has always been Seth doing it with malicious intent or because of jealousy or something of that caliber. I kinda wanted to do something different where he did some self-sacrifice instead. So, I don't know. Thoughts are always wonderful. Title is You'll Never Know by Frank Sinatra.

JacktheSinister_JaketheJust


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